1. Don’t try to piss quietly. Nobody in a public restroom thinks you’re knitting in your stall. They came to piss, just like you. And if you have to take a dump, do it. Get over your fear of public toilets. It’ll make life a lot easier.
2. Masturbate. Masturbate a lot. Talk about it with your friends. You’ve got the right to make yourself feel good and brag about it just like all the boys with extra large kleenex packages on their desks.
3. If you want the large fries, get the large fries. Hunger and appetite are nothing to be ashamed of, just human. Don’t ever feel guilty for eating in front of others. You need to nourish your body to stay alive. We all do.
4. Laugh as loud as you have to, no matter if you snort or gasp or literally scream.
5. Fart when you have to.
6. Always remember you weren’t born to visually please others. Forget the phrase “what if they think it’s ugly”. If you think it’s lovely, it is lovely. You wanna wear it, wear it!
7. Speak your mind! You can learn to do so without insulting others or shoving your opinion down other people’s throats.
me: hi, can i have a large—
starbucks employee: you mean a venti?
me: can we not do this
i refuse to be shamed for having a body. i refuse to get embarrassed when a tampon falls out of my purse or spend a whole day anxious about if someones going to notice that i forgot to shave a patch of leg hair. i wasnt put on this earth to spend my time apologizing for my existence and i refuse to let anyone make me feel like i have to waste my energy on all that petty shit